This afternoon, my Hubby Blue called me just as my work day was ending.
"Hi, wifey. Two things. First, do you mind if I hold over until 2:00?"
(This would be 2:00 AM...and yes, I do kind of mind because I like when you come home at 11:00 but I know it's important to you to take lots of overtime shifts so it's fine!)
"And the other thing, I had another shooting today. I shot a raccoon. It was acting really weird, just sitting in the middle of the road, not moving, and there was liquid coming from it's mouth."
"Aw, poor thing."
"Yeah, I used my rifle."
"Why did you use the rifle?"
"Because I didn't want to get close to it! I don't want to catch rabies! And then I had to take it in to get tested."
"You touched it?!?"
"Well, I had gloves on."
I share a classroom with another teacher, and as soon as I hung up, I had this awkward feeling that it's not exactly normal to use the phrase "Why did you use the rifle?" in a conversation. In what relationship is that acceptable?!? So I quickly explained to her that my husband shot a RACCOON and not, say, a person or something. She laughed and said she understood, but STILL.
Sidebar: I only questioned my hubby's use of the rifle because the last time he shot something (a deer), he used his handgun. Now, if there's one way I think I have surprised my husband in our almost 3 years of marriage and almost 7 years of being together, it's my vastly improved knowledge and comfort about firearms. Is it weird that I know which firearm is the most normal one to be used in this type of situation? I think yes. The other night, Hubby Blue worked an overnight shift, and as he was leaving, when I asked him where "MY gun" was and why MY gun wasn't out of the safe and then had to take out, load, and holster MY gun by myself, I think his heart swelled with pride a little bit. I used to think it was weird that my husband slept with a gun next to him...and now I do it myself. Also...weird? I think 95% of the population would say yes, but since when was being married to a cop ever normal?!?
Anyway, Hubby Blue said he was a little outside of town when he shot this raccoon, but in my mind, I picture him (expert marksman that he is) in the middle of a neighborhood, laying on the ground, setting up his scope and taking out this unsuspecting raccoon with one good, clean shot straight to its head. It's not pretty or happy or warm and fuzzy, but think of all the lives he saved: dogs, cats, children, the elderly...my husband, the hero!
Dear God, who have I become?!?