Monday, December 17, 2012

A few days later...

Some thoughts...

- When I posted about the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy on Friday, I have to say I was sort of in shock.  Devastating things like this happen, and it doesn't really hit me until a day or two later.  Hubby Blue and I talked about it off and on all weekend, him from the law enforcement perspective and me from the teacher perspective.  He'd ask me things like, "What would you do if you were locked in your room and someone banged on the door and said they were the police?  Would you open the door?"  I thought about it, and said no, probably not, because the procedure we have in place is to stay locked in our rooms until we get the all-clear signal over the intercom.  To this, HB replied that the police won't know the all-clear code word, won't care, and won't have time to figure it out.  He asked me about the doors out to the hallway from my room, whether they open in or out, how they lock, whether they have windows in them.  I told him I played over situations in my mind, trying to figure out where I could hide kids or what I would do if this or that happened.  I contemplated what I would do in different scenarios, how fast I could get 5 kindergartners to run, whether that would be a good idea or not.  I pictured my own students and thought about how I would protect them.  You see, unless you are a teacher, you don't quite understand that teachers love your students almost as if they were your own.  You don't realize that for 7 or 8 hours a day, teachers love them, teach them, care about them, cheer for them, worry about them, think about them, get frustrated over them, watch over them, and educate them.

- I went to church on Sunday morning.  Not surprisingly, the pastor announced right at the beginning that his sermon had drastically changed after Friday's events, but one thing that I assume had been planned all along was that the Sunday school group of kids sang a couple of songs and it nearly had me in tears.  As I watched, I just couldn't help but get the idea.  I can't type it.  The innocence of young life that was ripped away from both the victims and the survivors is haunting to me.

- I read biographies of two teachers who were killed, ages 27 and 30.  They were my age.  They were doing what they loved, teaching and shaping young minds...they were like me.  I simply cannot wrap my mind around the terror that must have been ripping through that school that day.

- Hubby Blue tells me the likelihood of being involved in a mass shooting is about the same as being struck by lightning.  And yet, it's a sobering reminder that we aren't really safe anywhere.  You just never know.

- I thought today would be a hard day, going back to work after this weekend full of sad news.  I teach mostly kindergartners and first graders in my position, and I really wasn't sure what, if anything, some of them might say or ask.  None of them said anything about it; hopefully they don't even know that it happened.  But one thing was certain: when each of them came into my room today, I could sincerely say, "I am so happy to see you today."


Hubby Blue is on the power shift this week, meaning he works 6pm-2am.  This has got to be the worst shift...and having experienced all of them now, I say that with quite a bit of certainty!  I raced home to get here by 4:15 today, which was right when HB said he needed to leave.  He was running a little behind and didn't get out the door until 4:30, so we had 15 minutes or so to catch up, mostly on things like, "Did you pay the electric bill or should I?"  He left, I ran some errands, made dinner, did an insane amount of cooking (more on that later: this unprocessed food thing can be a real time drain...I'm slacking on my "Real Food Friday" posts because I'm too busy making tortillas and hummus from scratch! HA), and watched a little TV.  I'm going to bed momentarily, but he'll be coming in at about 3:00 am.  I'll probably wake up and hopefully be able to go back to sleep for 3 hours!  Ahhh, such is the police wife life!

Thanks for reading today.  Until next time...

1 comment:

  1. My mom's an elementary teacher, my hubby's a police officer and I'm the mother to a Kindergartener. I volunteer weekly in her class too. Fridays news rocked me to the core. I know her teacher would give her life for her students. She definitely that kind of woman and I love her dearly. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher for my daughter. Today, while I was sitting in class cutting out materials for a winter project, I was close to tears. I know the names of every single child in that class and since so many were absent today, there were only 19 of them. My mind and heart were in turmoil. 20 children gone. I just can't fathom. Those families. My twins would be devastated without their big sister. They hate when she's just gone for a couple hours.

    Her school has always been locked down during school hours. They have cameras outside, all the doors are locked except the one into the office and kids are only released directly to their parent/guardian/caregiver. It is a little nerve wracking to see her principal supervise pick up and to watch someone make sure all the doors are locked once school has started. That's new, but understandable.

    My husband is hoping all those first responders get as much time off and counseling as they need. No one should ever have to witness that.

    That does sound like an awful shift. My hubby was on a similar shift last month (4p-2a). Now he's on 3p-11p, which is still a bit rough when you have kids. Right now he's out cold in bed because he's cold. It's nearly impossible to get him or his coworkers to call off sick so they just keep trading the crud between each other and bringing it home.


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