It's just after 4:00 am, and I've already been awake for about an hour today.
I woke up at 3:15 to the sound of Hubby Blue's alarm beeping nonstop from the bathroom where he was showering. I went in to ask him where it was and how to turn it off and he says:
"Go back to bed, you have to go to school today."
"...Hubby Blue, it's Saturday."
"It is? Oh, right, it is."
Last night I got home from work and decided that when Hubby Blue works weekends like he is right now, Friday afternoon does not feel like a weekend at all to me. When I said this to Hubby Blue, he said that I was in luck because he was planning on taking us out for dinner anyway! We had a nice time, but it's still a "weeknight" for HB so we were home pretty early...and in bed by 8:15.
I haven't gone to bed at 8:15 in...well, for as long as I can remember?! I guess maybe a couple years ago I went to bed at 8:15 because I was sick...? Maybe?
About a week ago when Hubby Blue switched over to days, I was hopeful that this shift was going to be the answer, the solution, the cure-all! A respite from living lives on opposite schedules! Time spent as a normal married couple! Annnnnd...it's no better than either of the other shifts. Going to bed at 7:30 and waking up at 3:00 isn't exactly the "normal" I thought it would be. This week, when HB would go to bed at 7:30 or 8:00, I would stay up and continue to live my normal schedule until about 10:00. I would wake up around 4:00 when he was leaving and go back to bed until my alarm goes off at 5:50. HB was home when I got home, we ate dinner together and then soon after he'd go to bed. Even though we've had two or three hours at night together, by the end of HB's night, he's getting pretty tired so there's not a lot of "quality conversation" happening as he's drifting in and out of sleep.
Take last night. We were out for dinner, and he was getting sleepy. I didn't realize it because I guess I was enjoying our night out so much, but this conversation happened around the table this morning:
"Last night, when we were out at dinner, I felt myself getting really tired." [Hubby Blue didn't actually say "really tired"...but I'm pretty sure he'd demand I change this blog entry if I wrote it the way he exactly said it. What can I say...he's lived with an early childhood teacher too long!]
"Yeah, but then I manned up, pulled it together, and woke the **** up."
So, when we were out, we talked about this schedule, and I thought perhaps I should try living on HB's schedule so that we're a little more in sync. I'd go to bed when he did and wake up when he did. I'd just get more things accomplished in the wee morning hours that I would usually do at night. Hence, the reason I went to bed at 8:15 and am awake at 4:30 am. This. Is. Crazy. This seemed like a good idea at the time...famous last words, right?
I got up early...pretty much so I can talk to Hubby Blue while he's busy (and distracted with) getting ready for work. It's now 4:30 and I have the whole day ahead of me on my own. On a normal workday, I'd be home until about 7:15 and home by 4:15, but Hubby Blue'd be gone from 4:00 to 3:00. We still have pretty much the same amount of hours awake together, so, basically, I think this is not such a good idea! (Except that now I'm wide awake and I could probably get massive amounts of things accomplished right now. And if I continue going to bed at 8:00 and getting up at 6:00 for work I could just get tons of sleep. Not horrible, I guess.)
I'm not sure what I'm even trying to say. I'm not really complaining, because this just is what it is. I never appreciated what police officers' lives were like before experiencing this myself. It's really eye-opening. The only thing I keep coming up with is...we live too far from Hubby Blue's department.
And yet, we're kind of stuck. It's the middle of a school year for me, and we have a lease through the summer here. This is a lot to think about and also a topic I'm not ready to blog about yet. I just need to keep praying about it.
P.S. Hubby Blue's schedule is changing again!!! He doesn't know what the change is yet, but of course, the times when we don't have any plans, his schedule stays the same, and then when it's the holiday season and there are plans galore, his schedule changes every week. I know all the advice about not making plans on days when your police spouse works, but come on! I'm just hoping that maybe by, oh, December 23, I'll know for sure one way or the other if has to work on Christmas.
Again, not complaining, just a little exasperated! :)