Monday, October 1, 2012

On the second day...

Hubby Blue came home this morning, just as expected...isn't it strange that my first thought in writing this tonight was that I had to mention that?!  Never before had I been so relieved to hear the phone ring just a few minutes after 6:00 am.  I definitely thanked God for keeping him safe all night.  I had told him before he left that he had to remember every.single.thing that happened to him because I wanted to hear ALL about it in the morning!  I got a short synopsis of the night, but he was only here about 10 minutes before I had to leave for work.

I figured HB would sleep all day, and in fact, not hearing from him all day made me sure that when I walked in from work at 4:15, he'd still be sleeping!  But no, my hubby, who sleeps like a rock any day I actually want him to wake up early, claimed he couldn't sleep past noon!  He was still exhausted, and it really made me understand the blog posts I read last night about how people who work the night shift are just constantly tired.  I got a few more stories from the night before, and then I said that's it!  You need to take a nap!  Luckily he was able to. :)

I got a real surprise tonight and HB made dinner for me!  This was a common occurrence in the BPA days...Before the Police Academy.  Days that sometimes lasted 14 hours kind of put a damper on this little treat!  Truthfully, I really didn't mind doing the majority of the cooking and housework, and I actually felt really purposeful that I could help HB in this small way.  I really believe that police work is more of a calling than just a job, and I thought I was doing my part to let HB focus on his training as much as he could.  Anyway, as we were finishing dinner, I was thinking to myself that I was feeling pretty good about him leaving tonight.  Wow, I thought, did I seriously make this transition after only one shift?  Am I really doing this much better?  I was pretty sure I was not nearly as worried, pretty calm, actually looking forward (a TINY bit) to having the quiet time to write some more on this blog... didn't last.

Except that tonight, I think I felt more sadness than worry.  Oh, don't get me wrong, the worry is still there, it's just that tonight I think I felt more sadness...or loneliness?  I'm not really sure what it is.  And I don't want to make it sound for one second like I am not 100% behind Hubby Blue.  Not only do we both know just how blessed he is to HAVE a job (more on that later), but I trust without a doubt that this is the career for him and that he is going to make one hell of a cop.  I really believe that this is where God has put him and that he is going to make a big difference in the world.  I just wish the schedule wasn't so hard.  I am really doing my best to be as un-teary as I can when he leaves, but if you know me, you know that 1) I cry over just about everything and 2) I really, really love Hubby Blue.  I just really miss him while he's gone.

A couple of days ago, we were at the academy graduation party, and I got to talking to the wife of one of the class supervisors.  I asked her what her best advice for another police wife would be, and she told me to find things I enjoy doing by myself.  I'll be able to come up with plenty of things I enjoy doing...the doing it by myself is probably going to be the harder part. goes nothing!

1 comment:

  1. Just catching up on your blog. I feel lonely so much of the time. Do you guys have a dog. We got one probably two week after Dan got on a new department and he was working ALL THE TIME. Seriously... think about it. My dog seriously is my best friend when Dan is not around... and SOOOOO much company!


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