Hubby Blue came home this morning, just as expected...isn't it strange that my first thought in writing this tonight was that I had to mention that?! Never before had I been so relieved to hear the phone ring just a few minutes after 6:00 am. I definitely thanked God for keeping him safe all night. I had told him before he left that he had to remember every.single.thing that happened to him because I wanted to hear ALL about it in the morning! I got a short synopsis of the night, but he was only here about 10 minutes before I had to leave for work.
I figured HB would sleep all day, and in fact, not hearing from him all day made me sure that when I walked in from work at 4:15, he'd still be sleeping! But no, my hubby, who sleeps like a rock any day I actually want him to wake up early, claimed he couldn't sleep past noon! He was still exhausted, and it really made me understand the blog posts I read last night about how people who work the night shift are just constantly tired. I got a few more stories from the night before, and then I said that's it! You need to take a nap! Luckily he was able to. :)
I got a real surprise tonight and HB made dinner for me! This was a common occurrence in the BPA days...Before the Police Academy. Days that sometimes lasted 14 hours kind of put a damper on this little treat! Truthfully, I really didn't mind doing the majority of the cooking and housework, and I actually felt really purposeful that I could help HB in this small way. I really believe that police work is more of a calling than just a job, and I thought I was doing my part to let HB focus on his training as much as he could. Anyway, as we were finishing dinner, I was thinking to myself that I was feeling pretty good about him leaving tonight. Wow, I thought, did I seriously make this transition after only one shift? Am I really doing this much better? I was pretty sure I was not nearly as worried, pretty calm, actually looking forward (a TINY bit) to having the quiet time to write some more on this blog...
...it didn't last.
Except that tonight, I think I felt more sadness than worry. Oh, don't get me wrong, the worry is still there, it's just that tonight I think I felt more sadness...or loneliness? I'm not really sure what it is. And I don't want to make it sound for one second like I am not 100% behind Hubby Blue. Not only do we both know just how blessed he is to HAVE a job (more on that later), but I trust without a doubt that this is the career for him and that he is going to make one hell of a cop. I really believe that this is where God has put him and that he is going to make a big difference in the world. I just wish the schedule wasn't so hard. I am really doing my best to be as un-teary as I can when he leaves, but if you know me, you know that 1) I cry over just about everything and 2) I really, really love Hubby Blue. I just really miss him while he's gone.
A couple of days ago, we were at the academy graduation party, and I got to talking to the wife of one of the class supervisors. I asked her what her best advice for another police wife would be, and she told me to find things I enjoy doing by myself. I'll be able to come up with plenty of things I enjoy doing...the doing it by myself is probably going to be the harder part. So...here goes nothing!