If you're on Pinterest, you might have seen this quote: "Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every single night of the week." Now, I don't mean to sound bitchy, but that quote bugs me so much.
Pardon me for saying this if you were someone who thought that was cute, but I can't think of a much more immature way to think about marriage. I sure hope the person who said it didn't mean that being married is only about having sleepovers every night, but as a police officer's wife, my first thought when I read that was that marriage is not at all about having sleepovers every night. In fact, some days, marriage isn't even about being together all the time either.
No, for us, marriage is so much more than sleepovers and togetherness. Marriage is complete and total support for your partner. Marriage is sacrifice. Marriage is waking up in the middle of the night so your spouse can tell you about his shift. Marriage is a pretty severe eye twitch (and getting worse!) because you can never quite rest easy when your partner is on the streets. Marriage is pulling on the oars together when times are tough. Marriage is listening to each other. Marriage is give and take.
Marriage is sometimes just letting the other person cry or scream or stomp or rant. Marriage is putting your partner's needs above your own. Marriage is picking up the slack for the other person when they just can't quite make it all the way. Marriage is a lunch left for your spouse in the refrigerator every single day, even when making it makes you late for work! Marriage is about making your spouse's life a little easier. Marriage is driving down the street like a bat out of hell to take your spouse his duty belt, his training manual, his coffee mug because he forgot it, he doesn't have time to turn around, and he'll be in big trouble if he doesn't have it.
Marriage is saying a prayer every single time your spouse leaves home that he will come home safely. Marriage is praying with all your might that you will see him again in 8 or 10 or 12 hours. Marriage is encouraging each other in all things...that you can accomplish something, that things will work out, that life will get easier. Marriage is neglecting the whole world if it means prioritizing your partner. Marriage is taking your spouse's side against the rest of the world. Marriage is being the proudest person in the room, clapping the loudest, smiling the widest, when your spouse graduates from college...and then from the academy. Marriage is standing beside your husband when he's sworn in, silently swearing to support him and love him and encourage him in his career. Marriage is believing in each other, even when you don't believe in yourself.
Marriage is saying I love you for you, with all your flaws, all your imperfections, and all your downfalls. Marriage is saying I will always love you, no matter what. Marriage is saying I forgive you, even when you spend all our money on police gear! Marriage is creating a life together. Marriage is dreaming and hoping for the future together. Marriage is trust. Marriage is mutual respect for each other. Marriage is saying I understand. Marriage is sleeping alone so your partner can fulfill a dream. Marriage is nights alone because you are married to a police officer, and crime doesn't just happen between the hours of 9:00 am and 5:00 pm.
Marriage is hard, marriage is messy, and marriage is tough. But marriage is also beautiful, marriage is also a blessing, and marriage is also a privilege. Marriage is not about having sleepovers every single night of the week. Dare I say it...if you think marriage is just about having sleepovers with your best friend, I think you're missing out. No, I do not need to sleep next to my husband every night to know that ours is a marriage that's going to last. I am a cop's wife, and I'll take my beautiful, messy marriage over a marriage built on sleepovers any day!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
A Post for my Hubby :)
This post is for Hubby Blue, who told me tonight that he misses my blogging. :)
The truth is, I haven't much felt like blogging AT ALL lately. I deal with some serious winter blues every year and can't motivate myself to do much of anything. I've experienced this seasonal sadness for many years but never actually noticed it in myself as much as my hubby noticed it in me after we were married. The first winter, he would sit me in front of a sunny window with a space heater pointed at me and made sure I took my vitamin D religiously. That helped a lot, but now that we're going through our third married winter and I spend most of my time alone, it's hitting me a lot harder this year. Before, Hubby Blue was always home when I was home, and even if I couldn't make myself get up to do anything, at least I could just sit in the same room with him and be comforted by having another person nearby! Sitting around the house alone every night (okay, only 5 nights a week) is pretty lonely though. I know it would probably help to exercise daily and continue eating healthy, but honestly it's hard to do either of those things when you just feel so blah. I was doing great with my resolution to work out 5 days a week up until this week, and I've slacked a lot on eating less processed food. Our meals are still very unprocessed and healthy, but I'm caving into all the food people bring into the teacher's lounge a lot more often. Ugh, not good.
This is just a phase, and I know I'll get through it just like everything else. We have some pretty busy weekends coming up, including this one. Some friends we haven't seen in months are visiting this weekend. Hubby Blue used some of his comp time and took Saturday off so we could be normal, social people for a day, and that will be really nice. I also have a lot of things to look forward to in February, like a Bible study, a "knife skills" class (I signed up for this one-night class after obliviously cutting my fingers twice in two days with our super-sharp kitchen knives) at our local community college, an online sewing class, a night out with some of my work friends, brunch and a play with my mom, my brother and his girlfriend, and a wine and cheese night with some friends I went to high school with. My mom has also been fantastic and visited me on nights when Hubby Blue was working twice in about four days. I really have the best mom ever, and I seriously wish we lived closer. Maybe someday soon we will. (Here's hoping.) It's also a good thing I started this Bible reading plan this year. Reading the Bible on a daily basis has really made me feel more in tune with the Lord lately. I feel like it's been my calm in the storm more often than not. I apologize if anyone was counting on my Sunday updates (even though I only did them like twice), but again, just couldn't make myself write a blog post! I switched tactics anyway, as I found I was forgetting too much of what I was reading by jumping to a different book everyday. My mom and I are kind of doing this together, and we both enjoyed Job, so we switched to Job and will finish that in the next week and a half. I'm finding there is a lot to think about when you read about Job's faith, and I also never realized how poetic that book is. The writing is so eloquent and beautiful.
Thankfully, January is almost over. Does anyone else feel like this is the longest month of the whole year?!? January being over means we're one month closer to March, which means Hubby Blue will go onto a new shift...hallelujah! I never thought I'd say this...but I actually miss the night shift! I even might say I kinda miss the afternoon shift when Hubby Blue would get home at 11:00 pm instead of 3:00 am! Yeah, neither one was ideal, but they were better than this one. Hopefully March will also mean warmer weather and the end of my blah feelings! That being said, please accept my apologies for my longer-than-usual absence! If it's cold where you are, stay warm! And if it's warm where you are...you lucky duck, don't rub it in. :) Thank you for reading!
The truth is, I haven't much felt like blogging AT ALL lately. I deal with some serious winter blues every year and can't motivate myself to do much of anything. I've experienced this seasonal sadness for many years but never actually noticed it in myself as much as my hubby noticed it in me after we were married. The first winter, he would sit me in front of a sunny window with a space heater pointed at me and made sure I took my vitamin D religiously. That helped a lot, but now that we're going through our third married winter and I spend most of my time alone, it's hitting me a lot harder this year. Before, Hubby Blue was always home when I was home, and even if I couldn't make myself get up to do anything, at least I could just sit in the same room with him and be comforted by having another person nearby! Sitting around the house alone every night (okay, only 5 nights a week) is pretty lonely though. I know it would probably help to exercise daily and continue eating healthy, but honestly it's hard to do either of those things when you just feel so blah. I was doing great with my resolution to work out 5 days a week up until this week, and I've slacked a lot on eating less processed food. Our meals are still very unprocessed and healthy, but I'm caving into all the food people bring into the teacher's lounge a lot more often. Ugh, not good.
This is just a phase, and I know I'll get through it just like everything else. We have some pretty busy weekends coming up, including this one. Some friends we haven't seen in months are visiting this weekend. Hubby Blue used some of his comp time and took Saturday off so we could be normal, social people for a day, and that will be really nice. I also have a lot of things to look forward to in February, like a Bible study, a "knife skills" class (I signed up for this one-night class after obliviously cutting my fingers twice in two days with our super-sharp kitchen knives) at our local community college, an online sewing class, a night out with some of my work friends, brunch and a play with my mom, my brother and his girlfriend, and a wine and cheese night with some friends I went to high school with. My mom has also been fantastic and visited me on nights when Hubby Blue was working twice in about four days. I really have the best mom ever, and I seriously wish we lived closer. Maybe someday soon we will. (Here's hoping.) It's also a good thing I started this Bible reading plan this year. Reading the Bible on a daily basis has really made me feel more in tune with the Lord lately. I feel like it's been my calm in the storm more often than not. I apologize if anyone was counting on my Sunday updates (even though I only did them like twice), but again, just couldn't make myself write a blog post! I switched tactics anyway, as I found I was forgetting too much of what I was reading by jumping to a different book everyday. My mom and I are kind of doing this together, and we both enjoyed Job, so we switched to Job and will finish that in the next week and a half. I'm finding there is a lot to think about when you read about Job's faith, and I also never realized how poetic that book is. The writing is so eloquent and beautiful.
Thankfully, January is almost over. Does anyone else feel like this is the longest month of the whole year?!? January being over means we're one month closer to March, which means Hubby Blue will go onto a new shift...hallelujah! I never thought I'd say this...but I actually miss the night shift! I even might say I kinda miss the afternoon shift when Hubby Blue would get home at 11:00 pm instead of 3:00 am! Yeah, neither one was ideal, but they were better than this one. Hopefully March will also mean warmer weather and the end of my blah feelings! That being said, please accept my apologies for my longer-than-usual absence! If it's cold where you are, stay warm! And if it's warm where you are...you lucky duck, don't rub it in. :) Thank you for reading!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A Big 'Ol Pile of Shift Work
Back when Hubby Blue and I were just dating, there was a time in our relationship when he worked as a part-time police dispatcher for the community college he was attending. He rotated shifts every weekend, going through the rotation of 7-3, 3-11, and 11-7. This was the year 2007...the same year Kenny Chesney came out with his single, "Shiftwork." I came to HATE that song, because it reminded me that my boyfriend had a shiftwork job which prevented me from spending time with him on the weekends! Little did I know that just 6 short years later...I would still hate that song!
I haven't blogged in a few days because...I just haven't felt like it. I don't know why exactly. Too much to get done, maybe? Hubby Blue is now done with FTO and like I said before, he works from 6:00 at night until 2:00 in the morning. I'm trying not to think about how challenging a schedule it is because a) there's nothing I can do about it and b) I'm doing my very best to support my hubby. HB has Wednesdays and Thursdays off, so when I really look at the week as a whole, I'm only dealing with being alone on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Yes, I'm alone Saturday and Sunday nights, but at least we're home together during the day.
The worst part about this shift is that we have little to no time to communicate. We might have 10 minutes over my lunch period or 15 minutes while I'm driving from work to my exercise class and Hubby Blue is driving to work, but for the most part, we haven't really talked since Sunday afternoon. I can deal with being alone all night, but what I can't really deal with is the feeling of not being married for 3 days out of the week. I'm not used to having to make a list of topics I need to discuss with my husband 3 days from now because we don't have time to talk the same day. I'm not crazy about the fact that if I forget to bring something up on my husband's weekend, oh well, I just need to wait until the next weekend. I know we just need to figure this out, and I know it'll just take time. This feels like this is yet another adjustment after a long 6 months of adjustments and re-adjustments! I should be used to this by now, no?! :)
The other thing I'm struggling with is SLEEPING! Hubby Blue gets home between 2:45 and 3:00 am, and every.single.night I wake up either when he comes in, or right before. It's like I have my own internal alarm clock or something. Usually I fall back asleep, so even though I'm not getting 7 or 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep, I'm still getting almost enough hours. It's not ideal, but what was even worse this morning was that HB came home at 2:45, I woke up...and I never fell back asleep. I might have dozed a little, but I was basically awake until I watched the clock change to 5:45 and my alarm went off. Needless to say, it was a tough day (and of course, as luck would have it, it was also my day for my principal to observe my teaching. Just lovely.)
So, tonight I'm going to bed early, and I think I'm going to try something a little drastic next week! I'm going to...wait for it...go to bed at 7:00 and just get up at 3:00 in the morning to start my day! HA. Is that not bizarre or what? Who does that? Who gets up at 3:00 am if they don't have to?! NOBODY, that's who. I don't know if I'll actually follow through...but it's a thought!
Let's just hope this shift work can eventually take us to the beach to have a beer by the edge of the sea and this round-a-clock place. And we'll drink our money away. And party 7-3, 3-11, 11-7.
(You can google the lyrics. :))
I haven't blogged in a few days because...I just haven't felt like it. I don't know why exactly. Too much to get done, maybe? Hubby Blue is now done with FTO and like I said before, he works from 6:00 at night until 2:00 in the morning. I'm trying not to think about how challenging a schedule it is because a) there's nothing I can do about it and b) I'm doing my very best to support my hubby. HB has Wednesdays and Thursdays off, so when I really look at the week as a whole, I'm only dealing with being alone on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Yes, I'm alone Saturday and Sunday nights, but at least we're home together during the day.
The worst part about this shift is that we have little to no time to communicate. We might have 10 minutes over my lunch period or 15 minutes while I'm driving from work to my exercise class and Hubby Blue is driving to work, but for the most part, we haven't really talked since Sunday afternoon. I can deal with being alone all night, but what I can't really deal with is the feeling of not being married for 3 days out of the week. I'm not used to having to make a list of topics I need to discuss with my husband 3 days from now because we don't have time to talk the same day. I'm not crazy about the fact that if I forget to bring something up on my husband's weekend, oh well, I just need to wait until the next weekend. I know we just need to figure this out, and I know it'll just take time. This feels like this is yet another adjustment after a long 6 months of adjustments and re-adjustments! I should be used to this by now, no?! :)
The other thing I'm struggling with is SLEEPING! Hubby Blue gets home between 2:45 and 3:00 am, and every.single.night I wake up either when he comes in, or right before. It's like I have my own internal alarm clock or something. Usually I fall back asleep, so even though I'm not getting 7 or 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep, I'm still getting almost enough hours. It's not ideal, but what was even worse this morning was that HB came home at 2:45, I woke up...and I never fell back asleep. I might have dozed a little, but I was basically awake until I watched the clock change to 5:45 and my alarm went off. Needless to say, it was a tough day (and of course, as luck would have it, it was also my day for my principal to observe my teaching. Just lovely.)
So, tonight I'm going to bed early, and I think I'm going to try something a little drastic next week! I'm going to...wait for it...go to bed at 7:00 and just get up at 3:00 in the morning to start my day! HA. Is that not bizarre or what? Who does that? Who gets up at 3:00 am if they don't have to?! NOBODY, that's who. I don't know if I'll actually follow through...but it's a thought!
Let's just hope this shift work can eventually take us to the beach to have a beer by the edge of the sea and this round-a-clock place. And we'll drink our money away. And party 7-3, 3-11, 11-7.
(You can google the lyrics. :))
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Celebration!
As of 2:00 am this morning, Hubby Blue will be DONE WITH FTO!!!
Words cannot even express how excited I am for him or how proud. This has been a long three and a half months, for sure. It feels like the academy was ages ago. I have learned so much about what being his wife means, and even though I know I have a lot more to learn, I think I'm off to a good start. It's funny how much your perspective can change in just a few months. When I think back on what I thought marriage was all about 3 months ago, or even 6 months ago or a year ago, gosh, it's come to mean so much more than I realized then. Sometimes I wonder how my perspective on marriage would have been different if Hubby Blue was already a cop before we got married, but I guess it doesn't really matter either.
Starting tomorrow, which is really today, Hubby Blue will be on the power shift, which is the 6:00 pm to 2:00 am shift. This will probably last until they change shifts in March, but who knows. His days off will be in the middle of the week, unfortunately, so we'll be jumping right into a police life routine! I'm hopeful we'll get into some sort of pattern of doing something fun together on those nights he has off (and that I'll get better at remembering to leave him to-do lists!). And that I'll find a way to get enough sleep since I inevitably wake up halfway through the night when Hubby Blue comes in. It's just so nice to finally be able to think about possibly planning ahead. FTO, with all the schedule changes that were sometimes only happening a day in advance, was exhausting. I'm so glad we're going to be done with this.
Hubby Blue working power shift tonight meant I went to my school Christmas party solo tonight. (I really didn't mind this actually. He went to the party with me the first year I taught there, and it was pretty dull for him. Not that the party was dull. Oh, no. Teachers, in general, are a pretty crazy breed in my opinion. Maybe it's that we spend our days turning everything into song with small children rather than conversing with adults or maybe it's that we live in constant fear of head lice and projectile vomit or maybe it's just that we spend 80% of our dayherding cats managing 25 or more little people who would all be running in 25 different directions if you let them. But elementary teachers tend to be some of the craziest people I know. Party. Animals. Let me tell ya.) Anyway, I went to this party with just some other teachers who live in my town, and I had a really fun time. Earlier this week, another teacher said she'd also be coming without her husband, "because he has to work nights. Yeah, it's just the luck of the draw. They switch off between days and nights." I, seeing she appeared to feel bad about this, and being the empathetic person I am, rushed to reassure her that I was in the same boat and that my husband also works nights so he would not be coming. Then I actually thought to myself how awful that must be to have to switch off like that and never get into a normal sleep schedule. But now, I'm going to stop right here and tell you, if your husband is not a cop, do not tell a cop's wife that your husband works nights if he doesn't actually work NIGHTS. This girl's husband showed up at 9:00, so I'm gonna guess he must not ACTUALLY work nights. I know, I know, you're not supposed to compare your marriage to someone else's (at all, really, but especially not if the person isn't a cop). Even though it kind of drives me crazy, I guess I'm just going to take this as a reminder that I should remember that someone else is always fighting a harder battle than I am.
Anyways, now that we'll be in the same routine every week, I'm really excited to plan how to spend my time alone. I'd much rather have Hubby Blue around, but if he can't be, then I ought to at least make the best of it! I'm hoping to take a few fun classes offered at the community college (soap making, anyone? Glass blowing? Hahahaha) and make a plan for getting things accomplished at home every week, whether it be making time to work on that scrapbook I mentioned, sewing, cleaning and cooking, or just reading. Or playing Rosetta Stone (yes, playing: I'll write about that another day soon :)) I'm feeling very optimistic, which is a lot more than I could say three months ago.
So in the meantime, I've got some things to accomplish tonight! I'm trying to wait up 2 more hours for Hubby Blue to get home so we can have a celebratory drink together. Cheers! Here's to the future!
Words cannot even express how excited I am for him or how proud. This has been a long three and a half months, for sure. It feels like the academy was ages ago. I have learned so much about what being his wife means, and even though I know I have a lot more to learn, I think I'm off to a good start. It's funny how much your perspective can change in just a few months. When I think back on what I thought marriage was all about 3 months ago, or even 6 months ago or a year ago, gosh, it's come to mean so much more than I realized then. Sometimes I wonder how my perspective on marriage would have been different if Hubby Blue was already a cop before we got married, but I guess it doesn't really matter either.
Starting tomorrow, which is really today, Hubby Blue will be on the power shift, which is the 6:00 pm to 2:00 am shift. This will probably last until they change shifts in March, but who knows. His days off will be in the middle of the week, unfortunately, so we'll be jumping right into a police life routine! I'm hopeful we'll get into some sort of pattern of doing something fun together on those nights he has off (and that I'll get better at remembering to leave him to-do lists!). And that I'll find a way to get enough sleep since I inevitably wake up halfway through the night when Hubby Blue comes in. It's just so nice to finally be able to think about possibly planning ahead. FTO, with all the schedule changes that were sometimes only happening a day in advance, was exhausting. I'm so glad we're going to be done with this.
Hubby Blue working power shift tonight meant I went to my school Christmas party solo tonight. (I really didn't mind this actually. He went to the party with me the first year I taught there, and it was pretty dull for him. Not that the party was dull. Oh, no. Teachers, in general, are a pretty crazy breed in my opinion. Maybe it's that we spend our days turning everything into song with small children rather than conversing with adults or maybe it's that we live in constant fear of head lice and projectile vomit or maybe it's just that we spend 80% of our day
Anyways, now that we'll be in the same routine every week, I'm really excited to plan how to spend my time alone. I'd much rather have Hubby Blue around, but if he can't be, then I ought to at least make the best of it! I'm hoping to take a few fun classes offered at the community college (soap making, anyone? Glass blowing? Hahahaha) and make a plan for getting things accomplished at home every week, whether it be making time to work on that scrapbook I mentioned, sewing, cleaning and cooking, or just reading. Or playing Rosetta Stone (yes, playing: I'll write about that another day soon :)) I'm feeling very optimistic, which is a lot more than I could say three months ago.
So in the meantime, I've got some things to accomplish tonight! I'm trying to wait up 2 more hours for Hubby Blue to get home so we can have a celebratory drink together. Cheers! Here's to the future!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Would You Rather: 2nd Edition
This is another one of those "would you rather" posts...would you rather have to handcuff a naked man, or would you rather find out that one of your students was sent home from school with scabies, just hours after you'd helped him wash his filthy hands?
Obviously, the naked man story belongs to Hubby Blue (and that's another story for another time) and the scabies story belongs to me, but seriously, how did we BOTH end up in careers like this?! Sometimes I feel like we should write a book about our combined experiences. I, for one, was certainly not aware of the job hazards associated with being a teacher. I mean, lice, yes, that's a given (though apparently it's a lot more common for teachers to catch lice from their students than I realized...I still pride myself on being lice-free my entire life). But SCABIES??? I didn't even know what scabies were until today when I googled it. And that in "young children, the head, neck, shoulders, palms, and soles are involved." PALMS, people!!! PALMS!!! Remember that I helped him wash his hands?!?
So, I don't know...naked man or scabies...this is a really hard one.
Obviously, the naked man story belongs to Hubby Blue (and that's another story for another time) and the scabies story belongs to me, but seriously, how did we BOTH end up in careers like this?! Sometimes I feel like we should write a book about our combined experiences. I, for one, was certainly not aware of the job hazards associated with being a teacher. I mean, lice, yes, that's a given (though apparently it's a lot more common for teachers to catch lice from their students than I realized...I still pride myself on being lice-free my entire life). But SCABIES??? I didn't even know what scabies were until today when I googled it. And that in "young children, the head, neck, shoulders, palms, and soles are involved." PALMS, people!!! PALMS!!! Remember that I helped him wash his hands?!?
So, I don't know...naked man or scabies...this is a really hard one.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
A Little Lesson
Tonight, while I write this, Hubby Blue is in the middle of his very first night in a squad car by himself.
AHHHHH!!! Just kidding. :) But in all seriousness, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for him all day. He was so excited, though, that I can't help but be excited for him. He's so close to the end of FTO...we can taste it. I just wish it wasn't this particular shift. I would have loved to wait up for him and hear allllll about it...but I can't very well stay up until 2:00 am this morning AND be bright and cheery for the kiddos tomorrow morning. I did take some advice that one of you dear readers left in the comments a couple days ago, and we prayed together before I left for work since I wouldn't be seeing him before he had to leave. It seems to have helped. That, and staying on top of my Bible reading plan (!) too. I read some good Psalms tonight that were very calming.
I really need to get better at leaving Hubby Blue lists though. I nearly made myself late for work this morning chopping up meat and veggies for a crock pot stew and TOLD (not wrote down!) Hubby Blue to put it all in the crock pot at about 10:30 so he could eat before leaving, and then just to leave it on warm for me. I also TOLD him I needed the storage bins from above the rafters in the garage to put all the Christmas stuff away (don't judge...we still have our Christmas tree up...and it's actually smelling as Christmas-y as ever right now). I shouldn't be surprised because I know how much better Hubby Blue does with a list but...let's just say I had French toast for dinner and our tree is still decorated. Oh well. There's always tomorrow! (It's kind of like how when Hubby Blue gets off work for his "weekend," he needs to spend pretty much the whole first day decompressing...when Hubby Blue goes back to work, I need to spend the first night by myself being lazy...ha. :))
Anyway, when I got home at 6:00 tonight, my first reaction to no dinner and no storage bins was, pretty naturally, extreeeeeeme annoyance. I was thisclose to firing off an angry text message to Hubby Blue about both things when, thankfully, I caught myself. Something inside me was just nagging at me to remember that this was really not that big of a deal. My husband was literally just starting his shift, his first solo shift, and he needed to be fully present and focused on his situation - at least that's how I would like to imagine him so that he comes home safe. How selfish would it have been of me to text him with some petty complaint? No, I decided, this is not the time; it can wait.
And I'm glad I did wait. I love me some French toast, and I never get to have breakfast for dinner when Hubby Blue is home! It gave me time to relax and remember not to sweat the small stuff. I started the crock pot anyway, and we'll just eat it tomorrow. No big deal, right?! Right. Most of the time we think technology is such a great thing, with all the convenience it provides...and yet it could also have done a lot of damage to a relationship in the few seconds it takes to type out a text message. (I'm pretty sure I only say this because I just watched an episode of Dateline about going on a "digital diet" or "digital detox" but still. Scary and sad.)
As one final note, Hubby Blue did give me a surprise call (he rarely is able to call while he's working), and he is LOVING tonight. I am just so proud of him and so happy that he is so happy. The man who once thought he'd only find happiness as a machine gunner in the infantry...has arrived. I think he's finally there again. :)
AHHHHH!!! Just kidding. :) But in all seriousness, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for him all day. He was so excited, though, that I can't help but be excited for him. He's so close to the end of FTO...we can taste it. I just wish it wasn't this particular shift. I would have loved to wait up for him and hear allllll about it...but I can't very well stay up until 2:00 am this morning AND be bright and cheery for the kiddos tomorrow morning. I did take some advice that one of you dear readers left in the comments a couple days ago, and we prayed together before I left for work since I wouldn't be seeing him before he had to leave. It seems to have helped. That, and staying on top of my Bible reading plan (!) too. I read some good Psalms tonight that were very calming.
I really need to get better at leaving Hubby Blue lists though. I nearly made myself late for work this morning chopping up meat and veggies for a crock pot stew and TOLD (not wrote down!) Hubby Blue to put it all in the crock pot at about 10:30 so he could eat before leaving, and then just to leave it on warm for me. I also TOLD him I needed the storage bins from above the rafters in the garage to put all the Christmas stuff away (don't judge...we still have our Christmas tree up...and it's actually smelling as Christmas-y as ever right now). I shouldn't be surprised because I know how much better Hubby Blue does with a list but...let's just say I had French toast for dinner and our tree is still decorated. Oh well. There's always tomorrow! (It's kind of like how when Hubby Blue gets off work for his "weekend," he needs to spend pretty much the whole first day decompressing...when Hubby Blue goes back to work, I need to spend the first night by myself being lazy...ha. :))
Anyway, when I got home at 6:00 tonight, my first reaction to no dinner and no storage bins was, pretty naturally, extreeeeeeme annoyance. I was thisclose to firing off an angry text message to Hubby Blue about both things when, thankfully, I caught myself. Something inside me was just nagging at me to remember that this was really not that big of a deal. My husband was literally just starting his shift, his first solo shift, and he needed to be fully present and focused on his situation - at least that's how I would like to imagine him so that he comes home safe. How selfish would it have been of me to text him with some petty complaint? No, I decided, this is not the time; it can wait.
And I'm glad I did wait. I love me some French toast, and I never get to have breakfast for dinner when Hubby Blue is home! It gave me time to relax and remember not to sweat the small stuff. I started the crock pot anyway, and we'll just eat it tomorrow. No big deal, right?! Right. Most of the time we think technology is such a great thing, with all the convenience it provides...and yet it could also have done a lot of damage to a relationship in the few seconds it takes to type out a text message. (I'm pretty sure I only say this because I just watched an episode of Dateline about going on a "digital diet" or "digital detox" but still. Scary and sad.)
As one final note, Hubby Blue did give me a surprise call (he rarely is able to call while he's working), and he is LOVING tonight. I am just so proud of him and so happy that he is so happy. The man who once thought he'd only find happiness as a machine gunner in the infantry...has arrived. I think he's finally there again. :)
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Back to School
Tomorrow morning I will head back to work after two long weeks off! It feels like it's been forever since I've done my job, and I think I might have forgotten how to do it a little bit...just kidding! But seriously, I do feel like I've been off school for a long, long time. And I'm not sure how I feel about going back! On the one hand, the routine will be good for me. On the other hand, I just feel like I'm so good at being a housewife! I was gone from home for three days, and while I was having a nice time visiting friends, having a spa day with my mom, and looking at wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law, Hubby Blue was here at home, "barely surviving," as he told me. It really warmed my heart when he told me he realized how much he depends on me! Like I said before, I hadn't been thinking much past New Year's Eve the last time we went grocery shopping, and Hubby Blue said he was pretty hungry while I was gone. Poor Hubby! :)
I did really good at keeping on top of my Bible reading this week. It was interesting to read more of the Old Testament, and I feel like I will learn a lot by doing this. I'm hoping I can keep up with it when I go back to work. Actually I hope I can keep up with all my resolutions when I go back to work. I so enjoyed my time off with all this extra time to read and cook and sew (I learned how to sew!) and organize and craft. Anyway, if anyone is joining me in my Bible reading, here's what I'm reading this week!:
Sunday (today): Romans 3-4
Monday: Genesis 4-7
Tuesday: Joshua 6-10
Wednesday: Psalm 3-5
Thursday: Job 3-4
Friday: Isaiah 7-11
Saturday: Matthew 3-4
I hope you have a great week, and I REALLY hope Hubby Blue has a great week. He's nearing the end of FTO, and I can't tell you how excited I'm going to be. He's on the 6pm-2am shift this week so I know we won't see each other much...but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I did really good at keeping on top of my Bible reading this week. It was interesting to read more of the Old Testament, and I feel like I will learn a lot by doing this. I'm hoping I can keep up with it when I go back to work. Actually I hope I can keep up with all my resolutions when I go back to work. I so enjoyed my time off with all this extra time to read and cook and sew (I learned how to sew!) and organize and craft. Anyway, if anyone is joining me in my Bible reading, here's what I'm reading this week!:
Sunday (today): Romans 3-4
Monday: Genesis 4-7
Tuesday: Joshua 6-10
Wednesday: Psalm 3-5
Thursday: Job 3-4
Friday: Isaiah 7-11
Saturday: Matthew 3-4
I hope you have a great week, and I REALLY hope Hubby Blue has a great week. He's nearing the end of FTO, and I can't tell you how excited I'm going to be. He's on the 6pm-2am shift this week so I know we won't see each other much...but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Read Food Friday: I NEED A ROUTINE!
If I said one thing about my last two weeks on break, it's that we had NO routine, and it's kind of driving me crazy! I found it especially difficult to plan for meals because we had so many holidays going on. Hubby Blue's schedule was also slightly up in the air, and it just seemed like I never knew when we'd be home together, when I'd be home alone, if anyone was coming to visit us/me. I felt like half the time I was ready to make a lunch for Hubby Blue, he'd tell me at the last minute he didn't need one because there was going to be food at the department. Okay, maybe that happened once or twice, but still. :)
I'm not even going to try to post receipt totals here because it's been so crazy around here that I don't even know where they are...actually, I'm not even at home right now! I'm visiting my family for a few days, so this is really just an update to tell you probably the most important and exciting news about this real food thing...
I FOUND REAL POLENTA!!! (now I just need to cook it)
It only took driving to a bigger grocery store about 30 minutes away! You'd never know that it, too, is also a small town. Funny story: we were there to mostly pick up some things for our New Year's Eve dinner and we were stopped in the produce section. I saw they had pomelos, (pummelos is showing up as incorrect, but I think that's how our store labeled them?) and I asked HB if he wanted another one since we liked it the last time we tried one. He agreed, and then he started looking at these "Asian pears." He wanted to try them so he picked up one...then another. "Umm...those are $3.50 each you know," I said. "But what if we like them so much that we each want one?" Hubby Blue cried. "But they're $3.50 EACH!!!" And then I stopped myself. Why was I stopping him from buying produce?!? Anyway, we bought two. :)
Here's another little story for you to illustrate just what kind of crazy person that Hubby Blue is married to. Being the teacher that I am, I used to like to write notes to Hubby Blue and put them in his lunch. I NEVER do this now because Hubby Blue would KILL me if someone from work saw one of them. BUT. One day this week, I packed him a little bag of carrot sticks (because I didn't feel like eating the whole container of them myself) and wrote on the bag, "Please eat these...you promised!" because he really had promised to eat some earlier in the week. And he did! Okay...so now, flash forward a day. Hubby Blue has not been getting a can of soda in his lunches for a while because, well, for a while it just wasn't in the budget, but now, because it's not "real food." We had a case of pop at our house, though, so I decided I was going to be reallllll generous and give him one of the cans one day. Because I am so thoughtful and special, I got out my permanent marker and wrote "TREAT" on the top of the can. You know, just in case he didn't figure out that this was not going to be a regular thing, it was a TREAT. Yeah...he came home and told me never to do that again. Sorrrrrry, Hubby Blue! :)
So, yes, I don't know how much we spent on groceries, but it was a lot, and it's barely gotten us through the week. I don't know why...it's like I wasn't thinking we'd have to eat in 2013 or something. When I was home earlier this week I was pretty much surviving on bulgur and carrots. Ugh. Hubby Blue's been such a good sport to eat so many carrot sticks this week since we totally ran out of fresh fruit a few days ago. So needless to say, I think getting back into a routine next week will be a good thing. Not so sure I am ready to go back to school...but it's not like I have much of a choice! And I'm choosing to be happy, remember?!? Ahhh...New Year's Resolutions...
...it seemed like a good idea at the time, right? :)
I'm not even going to try to post receipt totals here because it's been so crazy around here that I don't even know where they are...actually, I'm not even at home right now! I'm visiting my family for a few days, so this is really just an update to tell you probably the most important and exciting news about this real food thing...
I FOUND REAL POLENTA!!! (now I just need to cook it)
It only took driving to a bigger grocery store about 30 minutes away! You'd never know that it, too, is also a small town. Funny story: we were there to mostly pick up some things for our New Year's Eve dinner and we were stopped in the produce section. I saw they had pomelos, (pummelos is showing up as incorrect, but I think that's how our store labeled them?) and I asked HB if he wanted another one since we liked it the last time we tried one. He agreed, and then he started looking at these "Asian pears." He wanted to try them so he picked up one...then another. "Umm...those are $3.50 each you know," I said. "But what if we like them so much that we each want one?" Hubby Blue cried. "But they're $3.50 EACH!!!" And then I stopped myself. Why was I stopping him from buying produce?!? Anyway, we bought two. :)
Here's another little story for you to illustrate just what kind of crazy person that Hubby Blue is married to. Being the teacher that I am, I used to like to write notes to Hubby Blue and put them in his lunch. I NEVER do this now because Hubby Blue would KILL me if someone from work saw one of them. BUT. One day this week, I packed him a little bag of carrot sticks (because I didn't feel like eating the whole container of them myself) and wrote on the bag, "Please eat these...you promised!" because he really had promised to eat some earlier in the week. And he did! Okay...so now, flash forward a day. Hubby Blue has not been getting a can of soda in his lunches for a while because, well, for a while it just wasn't in the budget, but now, because it's not "real food." We had a case of pop at our house, though, so I decided I was going to be reallllll generous and give him one of the cans one day. Because I am so thoughtful and special, I got out my permanent marker and wrote "TREAT" on the top of the can. You know, just in case he didn't figure out that this was not going to be a regular thing, it was a TREAT. Yeah...he came home and told me never to do that again. Sorrrrrry, Hubby Blue! :)
So, yes, I don't know how much we spent on groceries, but it was a lot, and it's barely gotten us through the week. I don't know why...it's like I wasn't thinking we'd have to eat in 2013 or something. When I was home earlier this week I was pretty much surviving on bulgur and carrots. Ugh. Hubby Blue's been such a good sport to eat so many carrot sticks this week since we totally ran out of fresh fruit a few days ago. So needless to say, I think getting back into a routine next week will be a good thing. Not so sure I am ready to go back to school...but it's not like I have much of a choice! And I'm choosing to be happy, remember?!? Ahhh...New Year's Resolutions...
...it seemed like a good idea at the time, right? :)
Thursday, January 3, 2013
My Least Favorite Time of Day
My hubby has been on the street for over three months now, and it occurred to me very recently that I still worry every time he leaves the house. I didn't think about it much when he was working the afternoon shift because he would leave while I was at work, but having the last two weeks off, and being home every time he left for a shift...I always pray that he will come home safe to me. That moment when he walks out the door, I lock it behind him and watch him drive away...it is my least favorite time of day.
Will I ever get over this?
Will I ever get over this?
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013...Here We Come!
Happy New Year! Who's ready for 2013?
I have a number of goals/resolutions this year. I don't usually make a lot of resolutions, probably because it's so easy to let them fall by the wayside, but I'm hoping that by blogging about them and writing them down that I'll follow through on some of them. So, here goes!
1. Focus on being content and happy with wherever I am, and focus on the things that will make me happier. 2012 brought a lot of changes and challenges, and I admit I did not always take to them as positively as I could've or should've. In 2013, I'm focusing on choosing to be happy wherever we are and on working to get to where we want to be. Life's too short to stay in one place if you're not happy there. I recently saw this quote (on the wall of a bar bathroom, of all places...weird) and I thought it was appropriate:
I have a number of goals/resolutions this year. I don't usually make a lot of resolutions, probably because it's so easy to let them fall by the wayside, but I'm hoping that by blogging about them and writing them down that I'll follow through on some of them. So, here goes!
1. Focus on being content and happy with wherever I am, and focus on the things that will make me happier. 2012 brought a lot of changes and challenges, and I admit I did not always take to them as positively as I could've or should've. In 2013, I'm focusing on choosing to be happy wherever we are and on working to get to where we want to be. Life's too short to stay in one place if you're not happy there. I recently saw this quote (on the wall of a bar bathroom, of all places...weird) and I thought it was appropriate:
“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.”
~ H. L. Hunt
2. Read the entire Bible.
3. Read for enjoyment. Thanks to the Kindle I got for Christmas last year, I can look back at what I read in 2012...13 books! I think I can come up with maybe 3 or 4 books I read in hard copies, for a total of 16 books for the year. That's more than I have read in a looooong time, and I'm hoping to read at least that many in 2013.
4. Travel. This is a combined goal for both Hubby Blue and me. I really love how traveling gives you new perspectives and also makes you appreciate home. We're kind of crossing our fingers for somewhere in Africa...maybe South Africa or Egypt if it's stable enough and affordable enough!
5. Exercise at least 5 days a week.
6. Continue trying to eat more whole foods, including locally-raised meats. I'm especially going to work on eating more vegetables and hopefully getting at least some of our meat (maybe all??) from a nearby farm. I've got fruits pretty well-covered, but I'm less thrilled with veggies.
7. Use Hubby Blue's time off wisely. (Also, write for this blog when it's appropriate.) When Hubby Blue has random days off or when our weekends don't coincide, it can be hard to make plans when one or both of us is tired from work. Additionally, when I started this blog, I only meant to write on it when Hubby Blue was at work. I didn't want to be putting time into it when we could be spending time together. It's true that HB needs his alone time too and that I don't expect him to spend his full 48 hours off with me, but I want to be more present when he is home. I never want him to say something like, "Well, I wanted to do/go/spend time __________...but I thought you were busy blogging." Family always should come first, and I think sometimes I need to do better at this.
8. Finish our honeymoon scrapbook. We only went on our honeymoon two and a half years ago!!! We had this amazing honeymoon in Hawaii, I started a scrapbook of it...and never finished it. I actually have several unfinished scrapbooks, but I want this to be an achievable goal, after all...!
Is that enough?!? Haha, I think it is...for now! Do you have any resolutions?
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